The Greatest Mom Doesn’t Look Like You Think
by Eileen Colette
Somewhere along the way, the phrase “the greatest mom” became code for a woman who disappears.
She gives up her career.
She tucks away her dreams.
She shows up to every school event with snacks labeled in calligraphy.
She is, in every sense, selfless.
And often, we hear Scripture used to reinforce that ideal.
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.’”
— Matthew 16:24–25
Some women have been told that this is what Jesus meant—become a mother, deny yourself, disappear.
But here’s the thing: motherhood is not the cross.
It may include crosses. It may come with deep sacrifice.
But your self, your soul, your purpose, your gifts are not meant to be buried in the name of obedience.
Jesus never said, Deny yourself until there’s nothing left of you.
He said “follow Me”—and that following includes becoming more fully alive in Him.
It means laying down ego, not essence.
It means losing control, not identity.
Let me tell you what my motherhood looks like with Jesus leading every step of the way.
It looks like…
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Travel nursing to provide for my family, even when it meant being away.
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Writing a book in the quiet moments between caregiving and cleaning.
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Making TikTok videos not for attention, but for inspiration—for myself, and maybe someone else in a hard season.
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Starting a business while raising a family, caring for my mom with dementia, and still showing up with dinner on the table.
It looks like real-life flexibility, not Instagram perfection.
It looks like letting my kids see me try, see me cry, see me hope again.
I don’t always volunteer at the school.
I might not bake the cupcakes or be up-to-date on the class group chat.
But I listen to my kids’ hearts. I speak life into their gifts.
And I let them witness that women can nurture others without neglecting themselves.
Yes, there is self-denial in parenting.
There is kneeling down to tie shoes when your knees ache.
There is listening to bedtime stories when you’re running on fumes.
There is giving up the “right” to sleep in, the “right” to uninterrupted thoughts.
But there is also resurrection in parenting.
There is creativity that blooms through chaos.
There is wisdom that deepens through surrender.
There is glory in choosing to show up—not just as a caretaker, but as a woman becoming more like Christ.
Some people will say it’s selfish to create music at my age.
Or to build a brand while caregiving.
Or to write a book that speaks to something deeper than dinner prep.
But I believe what I’m doing says something different:
It tells my kids this too is motherhood.
Yes, I scrub toilets.
Yes, I read my Bible with coffee in hand.
Yes, I cry when no one comes to help.
And yes, I also create. I connect. I care—for others, and for me.
If no one has told you lately:
You don’t have to disappear to be a good mom.
You don’t have to choose between your dreams and your children.
You are allowed to be whole.
So to the mom out there wondering if you’re “failing” because you’re also dreaming—
You’re not.
You are showing up.
And your kids are watching.
Not just what you do for them—
but how you carry yourself.
How you hold joy.
How you rise again.
You, my friend, might just be the greatest mom they know.
“Denying yourself doesn’t mean deleting yourself. It means following Jesus into the fullness of who you were created to be.”
-Eileen Colette
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