For I Will Yet Praise Him Psalm 42:5

🌿 When I Didn’t Want to Worship

by Eileen Colette

“Why my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5 NIV

I almost didn’t go.

I was tired. Emotionally drained. Frustrated with people who don’t see, who don’t ask, who don’t care to understand. I had nothing left to give — no smile to fake, no strength to offer, no song I felt like singing.

But I went to worship rehearsal anyway.

And somewhere between the strumming of chords and the quiet exchange of kindness, something in me shifted.

It wasn’t because my problems disappeared. They didn’t.
It wasn’t because I had some profound revelation or spiritual high.
It was because I showed up in defiance of everything telling me not to.

🎶 Worship Isn’t Denial — It’s Opposition

I was reminded tonight that worship isn’t about ignoring our pain.
It’s opposing it.
It’s resistance to despair.
It’s choosing divine focus over emotional fog.

It reprioritizes our attention to what is most important- our affection to The Holy One, Yahweh!

I didn’t show up as a perfect leader tonight; I showed up as a human one. A hurting one.
But I was reminded that we never stop being worshippers.
Even when we’re weary.
Even when our homes feel heavy.
Even when we’re disappointed in people we love.

“Worship isn’t one more thing to manage — it’s the place where we can lay everything down.” -Me

💡 “You Have a Responsibility”

The main worship leader spoke gently not in a pushy or performative way  but with sobering clarity:

“When you’re a worship leader, you have a responsibility.”

Not a burden.
A calling.
A get to.

That line pierced me.
Not because I needed more on my to-do list.
But because I needed to remember: worship isn’t an obligation.
It’s an invitation.

I sang next to a younger woman tonight — radiant, kind, full of grace.
And as we harmonized, I realized something:

I didn’t need my circumstances to shift in order to feel God’s presence. Furthermore, whether I felt him or not, He was already present. Always with us. I just needed to show up and do what I was created to do, glorify the King of Kings.

🔄 A Turning Point

This was a turning point.

Not the kind that fixes everything overnight.
But the kind that steadies your soul again.

So if you’re reading this and feel like disappearing…
If your life feels too loud, too heavy, too unfixable…

Let me tell you something I now know in my bones:

You don’t have to feel like worshipping to show up as a worshipper.
Sometimes obedience opens the door for your healing.

And sometimes the act of lifting your hands reminds you that you are still being held.

📖 Scripture to Anchor This Moment:

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
— Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

🙏 Closing Prayer:

Lord, thank You for meeting me in my mess. For reminding me that worship isn’t reserved for perfect days or peaceful hearts. It’s for the broken, the tired, the ones who almost didn’t show up. Thank You for making worship my safe place. My reset. My refuge. Teach me to come anyway. To lead from truth, not performance. To rest in Your worthiness, not mine. In Jesus’ name, amen.

🪴 If this reflection spoke to your soul, share it with someone who needs encouragement today. Or leave a comment below — I’d love to know how God is meeting you in your worship journey. Praying for you! 
#ThinkLikeAPlant #RootsOMG #WorshipAnyway